GhostSparrow

I hate looking out the window in the middle of the day and seeing a thick gray mass of depressing sky. I swear even the oxygen molecules are colored gray at the moment just to make the situation even more depressing. Takes less to drive a person down under. It doesn't help that our film is gray, the sketches to my report at mainly gray, the pages of my course literature are tinted gray for some idiotic reason (actually I know why, but that's not the point) and I really need to be effective and finish this stupid report before midnight tonight. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep my eyes open and my focus on thinking creatively and

There. Not there. Here? I expected it to hurt twice as much when you fall twice as far. Perhaps I have yet to fall though, maybe this is still the start. The lift off. When I look at what I had to loose last time I fell, was it different. Do I have more to loose now? I don't really know how to judge that but in my mind I'm happy now. I'm supposed to be happy. I have people who love me, who laugh with me, who want to be with me - simply because of who I am. I didn't have that then and as much as I think I wanted to believe I did, time has shown me that I never actually did. I thought I was on top of the world when I was actually barely above

Why does it feel like I have to do everything myself to get it done properly..? I'm the worst procrastinator I know yet I still manage to produce the damn work and I don't leave it half done hoping someone else will finish it off. I'm the project leader for a group at school who's supposed to complete a number of group assignments together. So far, I've ended up having to whip people into doing any work at all and still I've ended up writing 5000 out of the 6000 words in the report because no one else knows how to work with a report structure! How the hell can 4 people have made it to university and still not understand how to write an object